Archive for the 'Champagne Comedy' Category

14
Feb
09

Shot through the heart?

The lonely little town of Geolzhofen, where a lonely heart waits patiently for love

The lonely little town of Geolzhofen, where one lonely heart waits patiently for love.

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day and I know for many of you, Cupid’s arrow once again missed its mark. Stupid cherub.  I know life can be cruel in this regard comrade. You have my sympathy.  When you strip away all of its distractions you realise what’s really important is finding the right companion, a soul mate, the one. But chin up lonely heart, maybe your love has arrived in the form of one very special German “lady”. Meet my friend  Angelika Pellegrini who, coincidentally,  is also tragically single. She comes from a very small town in Bavaria. Geolzhofen only has a population of 7,000, so its hard to find like minded people that share common interests… You know like wetness. Clarkfred33s don’t grow on trees you know. So maybe Angelika is the one you’ve been looking for intrepid reader? Why not visit her Flickr photostream and ask yourself if you wouldn’t be happier right now, cosy in bed with Angelika.

Aren’t you lucky I have your best interests at heart? Aren’t you…

Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead!

P.S: For those poor suckers out there without a Flickr account:

Angelika reclining on mattress in her space suit (wig off)

Angelika reclining on mattress in her space suit (wig off)

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18
Dec
07

Some kind of two dimensional Chinese synchronised swimmers?

White House News Photographers Assoc.

As you do! Hmph, still persisting in calling that stupid splishy splash an Olympic sport.

*spits*

*spits in pool*

*sighs*

*drinks vodka*

*urinates in pool*

*vodka again* x 5

*falls in pool*

*waves from the bottom*

*wonders if he’s being hypocritical now*

– Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Drowning (not waving)!

04
Oct
07

La Violencia Domestica!

Violence Against Luchadores - Mexico says no!

 

Violence Against Luchadores - Mexico says no!

Violence Against Luchadores - Mexico says no!

 

Violence Against Luchadores - Mexico says no!

28
Aug
07

An amazing elephant story…

Angry ElephantIn 1986, Mikele Mebembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Monash University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mikele approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mikele worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mikele stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mikele never forgot that elephant or
the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mikele was walking through the Melbourne Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mikele and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mikele, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mikele couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mikele summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right
up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, then wrapped its trunk around one of Mikele’s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

Folks… was there a lesson in that? Don’t call your kid Mikele – what a cumbersome name! One wonders what he was studying – probably Arts. Anyway there’s so much we DON’T know about poor Mikele….   it’s lucky he’s dead now, just like we are…

Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead!