Archive for the 'Another Con Job' Category

28
Oct
08

Keith Richards prostitutes himself for fascist fashionistas

Keith Richards the Louis Vuitton High Class Hooker

Keith Richards the Louis Vuitton High Class Hooker

You are not hallucinating comrade. I had to look twice at huge billboard like this in the city, where new store is soon to be opening its doors. Louis Vuitton is pimping high class prostitute – Keith Richards.

My interweb research informs me he’s donating his fee to Al Gore’s Climate Project.

A good cause ya? But does that make it Ok? Does it forgive this monumental sellout? The real caption to the above image will make you vomit in your mouth… are you ready?

“Some journeys cannot be put into words. New York. 3 am. Blues in C.”

I like polka, and not keen on young people music, but Richards is considered a potent male celebrity of some substantial dirty-rock-rebel-legend status ya? Like a pirate ya? Sadly now, he’s saying it’s ok to buy this overpriced French crap. Not very “pirate-rock”, Richards!

I don’t know which is worst though: more people buying $1,000+ handbags and thinking they are a little more grungy-rock-cool (instead of dickheads – it’s just a bag for christsakes!) or; the Vuitton brand thinking people will ‘buy’ this newfound rock sensibility. Yeah Frenchy Vuitton execs I’m sure you are the real deal, just rocking out in your filthy, luxury, yachts o’ rock all the time! But I betchya stupid consumers will bite, chew and swallow it. God, how I hate those people!

According to French author, Stephanie Bonvicini, Louis Vuitton also bought the Nazi’s favour by actively supporting their puppet Vichy regime in France during WWII. I wonder if they gave their countrymen  matching luggage as they were being sent to concentration camps in Germany?

Now watch this painful video of “Rolling Stones Richards” prostituting himself in hotel room for Louis Vuitton the “King of bags”.

Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Dead!

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26
Sep
07

Just because I was born here, doesn’t mean I give a sh!t about cricket*

The new Australian Citizenship Test kicks off next week. And it’s tough. The test asks questions like: What is a Bill? What is Australia’s floral emblem? What is the responsibility of every Australian? Who is Sir Donald Bradman? Try the practice test for yourself here.

It strikes us here at LBYiD! that these questions don’t necessarily reflect what it means to be truly Oz. So, along with every other chump with a keyboard, we’ve drafted…5 Questions That Should Be Asked On The New Citizenship Test

1. Shane Warne is:
(a) a cricket player
(b) a legend
(c) a bloody legend – CORRECT
(d) a misogynist dumb-shit

2. The correct place to store your Winnie Blues is:
(a) your pocket
(b) tucked into the sleeve of your t-shirt
(c) your school bag
(d) your nappy bag – CORRECT

3. Australia’s national anthem is:
(a) Khe Sahn – CORRECT
(b) Aussie, Aussie, Aussie…Oi Oi Oi [repeats] – CORRECT
(c) Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours. With a little understanding, you can find a perfect blend. Neighbours, should be there for one another. That’s when good neighbours become good friends. [er…also CORRECT]
(d) Advance Australia Fair – CLEARLY WRONG. GO HOME.

4. Australia’s Prime Minister is:
(a) John Howard
(b) Peter Costello
(07) Kevin Rudd
(d) a c*nt
[this is clearly a trick question as there are several correct answers]

5. Which of the following groups of people should not be allowed to enter Australia:
(a) Muslims
(b) Asians
(c) Aborigines
(d) Poofters
(e) all of the above – CORRECT. CITIZENSHIP GRANTED. GO STRAIGHT TO PUB.

Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Dead!

* Boris does actually give a shit about cricket. But he’s Russian. And drunk.

23
Sep
07

Be Climate Conned

Don’t be climate conned by Nuclear Energy or John Howard 2007

More barrel-fish shooting over here at LBYiD!, to counter Lib’s propaganda machine, which seems to be in overdrive at the moment. You may have noticed their moronic “Be Climate Clever” ads making your TV feel dirty. We hope you’re not buying the ol’ green-washed uranium mining / nuclear energy lobby line they’re pushing! Read “Is nuclear power part of Australia’s global warming solutions?” by Professor Ian Lowe AO, ACF President, to hear an opposing view.

To summarise (in case you’re lazy like me):

  1. The economics of nuclear don’t stack up. The real cost is so much more expensive than any other renewable.
  2. Nuclear is too slow an option to respond to climate change. Even if they start building them tomorrow it will take 15 – 25 years to start pumping the juice out.
  3. Remember: building nuclear power plants and mining uranium are NOT carbon neutral activities kids.
  4. Uranium is a finite resource and there’s only about 50 years worth of the stuff in the ground (to meet global demand).
  5. Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Ola terroristas!
  6. Radioactive waste – no acceptable environmental and or economic plan for disposing the glow-in-the-dark stuff has been established yet.

Boris wouldn’t stand for it, I suppose that’s why Howard (that worm!) thinks:

Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Dead!

Photo courtesy of
Michal Brcak.

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18
Sep
07

These Workplace Authority ads are making me thirsty…

Australian Government Workplace Fairness Test

While I know that complaining about government advertising is like shooting fish in a barrel, the Australian Government has been bringing us some Gold Logie-winning material of late.

Take, for example, the new Workplace Authority commercials. Having abandoned a campaign that saw senior public servants shaking their cans to promote WorkChoices (and abandoning the separation of powers, the protections accorded by an independent civil service and good taste), the Workplace Authority is now pimping the Howard government’s industrial legislation like some diseased hooker by having two “mates” discuss the new fairness test in the most natural of settings: the pub.

So, in the spirit of some esteem-building fish-shooting, Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Dead! brings you… The Top 5 Reasons The Workplace Authority’s “Two Mates in a Pub” Commercials are Unconvincing, Uncompelling and Downright Stupid:

  1. Two guys walk into a bar. We keep expecting this joke to get funny. It doesn’t.
  2. A pub, two “mates”, a basket of chips and two glasses – sounds reasonable…even pleasant. But there is no beer in the glasses. None. Could it be that with their spanky new AWA’s they don’t have enough coin for the next shout? Or the Australian Government could see fit to spend our taxes on shamelessly political commercials masquerading as information campaigns, but was too tight to pop for two schooners of XXXX Gold. Who knew?
  3. There are no sodden coasters. There are some car keys on the table. The mates’ pants appear to coordinate with their shirts and do not appear to be pulling uncomfortably across their bellies. Have these people ever been in a pub?
  4. The pub is not playing Shannon Noll.
  5. The mates are talking about WorkChoices, rather than tits.

Is anyone else thirsty?
Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Dead!

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15
Sep
07

New Australian Government Ad Campaign: StupidAlert

Australian Government StupidAlert - Playing with Lions

Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead! is the first to reveal a new Australian Government education information campaign promoting awareness of ridiculously dangerous behaviour as part of the StupidAlert – Protecting Stupid Australians from the Obvious initiative. Having already insulted the intelligence of many Australians with alarming campaigns about the dangers of violent boys, unions, little insects living in your overseas souvenirs and most recently, the internet, the Coalition now hopes to capture the vote of any ‘stupid Australians’ still listening to them by alerting them to obvious dangers that no-one with half a brain really needs to be warned about…

Australian Government StupidAlert#2 - Swimming With Sharks

Australian Government StupidAlert Internet Campaign - Drinking with bogans

Prepare for a dirty fight from the Libs against more easy targets – read more about this over at the Drover’s Dog 07.



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