George Lucas: making slavery sexy… again!

Thanks George. Princess Leia awoke me from the slumbers of childhood innocence. Important. I loved your shit… and then the prequals came out and I think you ham-fisted it. Then the animated clone wars movie stole a good hour from my life I’ll never get back, and now this: Secret Wishes Princess Leia Slave Costume.

I just want to go back to sleep. Don’t get me wrong – I still think it / she is sexy but now there’s two big ‘buts’…

But… #1

Hopefully some of you are waking up to the fact that slavery still exists in the world today. It’s not cool. George however begs to differ, he’s going against the grain. George is back to flogging that good ol’ trusty, dead horse of merchandising called ‘Return of the Jedi’ by endorsing this Halloween (or other ’special occasion’) get up. Slavery just isn’t as tasteful as it was in 1986.

But… #2

The not-Carrie-Fisher-girls just can’t pull it off. What’s funny and sad is there are girls who actually buy and wear the Princess Leia Slave outfit. Who knows why… maybe in the hopes of snaring a rich Star Wars geek at a comic Book convention (Exhibit A). Maybe there are more geek girls than I thought. Maybe “only in America!”.

May I also present girl with low self esteem awesomeness (via the really switched on guys down at the Hollywood Internet Cafe)  as Exhibit B?

and may the force be with you god bless you in Exhibit C:

So back to this rad merching venture of slave bikinis which btw go for US$55. I wonder how much of that goes to George. I hope a big fistful. Obviously the bikinis are only available in sizes extra small through to medium. What George is saying here is:

NO FAT CHICKS SLAVE PRINCESS LEIAS!

Have to protect the integrity of the brand you see. I’m sure you understand. To be a Princess Leia slave girl you have to be thin like Melissa, in the very embeddable videos you’ve just watched (again I can’t thank the cool dudes at Hollywood Internet Cafe enough for their Cinéma vérité genius).

Good news is George can’t stop you from being ugly, old or stupid! So yeah, ’stay on target’ fat geek girls. Diet for your right to wear chains and embarrass your gender and yourselves in front of tens of my readers!

~ Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead! (A long time ago In a galaxy far far away)

Epilogue

Ok I couldn’t resist one more video of Melissa pulling some sexy, sultry shapes whilst looking good and speaking the wisest of truths imaginable about slavery:

Also put your 3D glasses on…

now!

One more thing George, I have to concur with Darth_Snook who in this forum asks: Misogynist much?

Ok, the post is over now. Back to your cars.

McDonalds Horror Story

McDonalds Hamburger Horror

The McDonalds Hamburger on the right: 2008. The same McDonalds hamburger on the left: 1996!

Wellness educator and nutrition consultant Karen Hanrahan has kept a McDonald’s hamburger since 1996 to illustrate its nonexistent ability to decay. Aside from drying out and bit and having “the oddest smell,” it apparently hasn’t changed much in the past 12 years.

AN OPEN LETTER TO RONALD MCDONALD

Dear Ronald.

American arse clown! What are you doing to our intestines? And boy how we heard about it  from you self righteous yanky blue jeans, when Chernobyl melted. How is this any different? In fact it’s much worst. Subtly you are poisoning the whole planet with those preservative packed patties. Not to mention all the other hate crimes you are committing onto man, the animals and the earth.

FAIL!

With all my heart I wish you dead clown.

Choke on the crap you peddle to the masses of poor ignoramouses

Sincerely,

Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead!

P.S: It’s good when you’re drunk though hey?

Some kind of two dimensional Chinese synchronised swimmers?

White House News Photographers Assoc.

As you do! Hmph, still persisting in calling that stupid splishy splash an Olympic sport.

*spits*

*spits in pool*

*sighs*

*drinks vodka*

*urinates in pool*

*vodka again* x 5

*falls in pool*

*waves from the bottom*

*wonders if he’s being hypocritical now*

- Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Drowning (not waving)!

Every circus needs a freak

Boris is where every leader of the free-spending world is this week: the UN Climate Change Summit in Bali. And not a moment too soon…

A sensational lunatic has joined the Summit – the 3rd Viscount Monckton of Brenchley. Viscount Monckton is here to spread his anti-climate science propaganda – including littering the negotiators’ tables with shit-sheets before plenary sessions (see below flyer liberated from the Australian delegation’s desk – I hope they appreciate it…).

Monckton was a policy adviser to Margaret Thatcher – but also describes himself as an international business consultant, writer and inventor. Monckton claims that concern about the anthropogenic causes of global warming is simply a controversy catalyzed by “the need of the international left for a new flag to rally round” following the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989.

In addition to his snake oil science, he also has some special views on addressing the HIV/AIDS epidemic. How do we confront the greatest humanitarian crisis of our time? In an article entitled “The Myth of Heterosexual AIDS”, Mi’lord Monckton said: “there is only one way to stop AIDS. That is to screen the entire population regularly and to quarantine all carriers of the disease for life. Every member of the population should be blood-tested every month … all those found to be infected with the virus, even if only as carriers, should be isolated compulsorily, immediately, and permanently.”

Nice one, fucknuts. I hope you get cholera.

You are so

Lucky Boris Yelstin is Dead.