Shot through the heart?

The lonely little town of Geolzhofen, where one lonely heart waits patiently for love.

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day and I know for many of you, Cupid’s arrow once again missed its mark. Stupid cherub.  I know life can be cruel in this regard comrade. You have my sympathy.  When you strip away all of its distractions you realise what’s really important is finding the right companion, a soul mate, the one. But chin up lonely heart, maybe your love has arrived in the form of one very special German “lady”. Meet my friend  Angelika Pellegrini who, coincidentally,  is also tragically single. She comes from a very small town in Bavaria. Geolzhofen only has a population of 7,000, so its hard to find like minded people that share common interests… You know like wetness. Clarkfred33s don’t grow on trees you know. So maybe Angelika is the one you’ve been looking for intrepid reader? Why not visit her Flickr photostream and ask yourself if you wouldn’t be happier right now, cosy in bed with Angelika.

Aren’t you lucky I have your best interests at heart? Aren’t you…

Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead!

P.S: For those poor suckers out there without a Flickr account:

Angelika reclining on mattress in her space suit (wig off)

Meet Joey Gunz

Greetings! I'm Joey Gunz and you can check me out on line at www.joeygunz.com, glamor photographer for extra ordinare.

Joey Gunz is my new photography tutor and artistic mentor. Actually I’m getting so much out of his 16 part series on youtube I wish Joey could adopt me and teach me life skillz.  Like, how do you grow an afro and  pimp moustache? Watch these videos comrade, I find all the shiniest things on the internet and steal them for you… like a demented, drunk and drenched magpie.

(I had these videos embeded but for some reason they’re not working anymore so you’ll have to click on the links – sorry comrade!)

The Basics of Photography. In the first video Joey will smoothly take a photo of you with his camera phone… to illustrate his mastery of such things:

Understanding Your Photography Subject. In this illuminating chapter, Joey talks about loving his job… he’s a soft-core pornographer with the dashing looks of a Harlem pimp and the ego of a giant… guy… with lots of ego! Anyway it has nothing to do with understanding your photography subject but he had to brag about it somewhere right? It’s what makes Joey Gunz “extra ordinare”

Artistic Vision. Here, Joey improvs his nuts off. Of course you’re always in control and know exactly  where he’s going with it. Chicken noodle soup! Chicken noodle soup!

There are many more pearls of wisdom on youtube. I leave you with words of immortal wisdom from joeygunz.com:

I have been to many places and I have seen many things, but nothing grasps and holds my attention like the power of allure. It draws me closer and blows me away like a speck of dusk floating on the wind. I am consumed at its pursuit. I see its visions in my slumber. I cannot rest. I will capture you allure, you are my prey. I will hunt you down and in 1/60 of a second I will make you mine forever and I will find happiness in my resolve to share you with the world.
- JoeY GunZ

Smoking behind the sheds on the oval, at the Joey Gunz School of Photography you’re all,
Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Dead!

Some kind of two dimensional Chinese synchronised swimmers?

White House News Photographers Assoc.

As you do! Hmph, still persisting in calling that stupid splishy splash an Olympic sport.

*spits*

*spits in pool*

*sighs*

*drinks vodka*

*urinates in pool*

*vodka again* x 5

*falls in pool*

*waves from the bottom*

*wonders if he’s being hypocritical now*

- Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Drowning (not waving)!

La Violencia Domestica!